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When I feel as awful as I do at the moment, there is one thing I tolerate with great difficulty: my inability to have a shower. I hate this! My whole body feels like it is in revolt and it does get revolting after a couple of days...

Having a shower is one of the simple pleasures I usually enjoy (to the point where I often have two showers a day) but at the moment wild horses would not drag me to wash myself:

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As midnight has now passed, it is officially my birthday. Happy Birthday to me.

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I haven't written for a LONG time. Even though I gave up playing The Shame Card many years ago, I am still deeply embarrassed by my long silence. I feel I need to tell you the truth so this is what happened:

At the beginning of last year, I was on an equal daily dose of Tegretol (Carbamazepine) and Seroquel (Quetiapine.)

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Whenever the subject of mental health medication comes up, either on the Internet of in face-to-face discussions, it seems to me there are basically two camps: those for and those against. I don't think that's good enough.

Those against medication fall into three groups:

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One of the hardest things about living in Bi-Polar Land is the need to be self-observant without becoming self-obsessed. The other hardest thing (!) is to define what you are supposed to observe in the first place. Take today for example: I feel a bit of a mess - simple as that. And yet, I don't mind too much ....

Ever since I first woke up this morning, I have felt bombarded with a series of messages from my body:

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Last week I went to visit our darling children: my son, his lovely wife and their adorable little daughter. To say I enjoyed it  is  the understatement of the year.  At the same time, I was reminded of the power of rhythm and routine in Bi-Polar Land.

We Bi-Polar Landers all know that our condition is all about rhythm - or eb and flow as we often put it. Our condition has a mind of its own. It takes us up, down and round again. We can do two things:

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Many of my beloved Bi-Polanders on my Facebook Page have had a chequered history with Quetiapine (usually sold under the brand name Seroquel). I thought it would be useful if I shared my own story with it so here goes:

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I am feeling a bit better.  It looks like I have survived one of my most difficult and regular cycles: my yearly one. January and February are NOT good months for me.  I have tried EVERYTHING you can think of (SAD Light, vitamins, etc, etc) and nothing seems to make one iota of difference.

The most effective way I have found of dealing with my yearly onslaught is to give in to it. This is NOT easy.

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Living in Bi-Polar Land is challenging. I know that. Yet, my condition never ceases to surprise me (that's the positive way of putting it) or to wrong-foot me (that's the less positive way of putting it). Just when I think I have finally arrived at some sort of stability something happens to throw everything out of whack again.

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Some of my personal friends and indeed many of my beloved Bi-Polanders in my Facebook Community complain of not being able to feel. Caused my medication this non-feelingness is a source of heartfelt distress to them. I have no problem feeling for them and their situation. In fact I have a problem NOT feeling.

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