Here's an interesting thing: I am going through a depressive episode and yet I am not feeling down about it. How could that be?
I had a chat with my psychiatrist and we came to the same conclusion: because I am managing to maintain a happy mental sate, the depression is expressing itself physically. In other words, keep my head right and my body goes beserk! That's not a very encouraging thought so I decided to look at it again and phrase it differently: keep my head sane (safe and sound) and let my body do the rest.
I don't ignore my body anymore. I did that for too long and it didn't do me any good. Rather, I listen to it and do my best to take care of it. I recognise that some days I do a better job than others but at least I have a go.
Besides, if I am honest, I much prefer physical pain to mental agony. Anybody who has suffered from deep clinical depression or manic agitation says the same thing: mental pain is the most dreadful hell on earth.
So, all in all, there is no need for me to go into drama queen mode. I am feeling unwell (very unwell actually) and that's enough. I don't need to add another layer of suffering on top of that.
There are things that help ease my physical discomfort:
There are other things that DON'T help me at all:
Two thoughts are particularly powerful for me. I recognise they might be somewhat esoteric for some of you but I'll share them anyway:
These two thoughts help me keep things in perspective and stop me from disappearing up my own black hole (or - in less elegant language - where the sun don't shine!).
Right - my back is hurting now so I need to get up and move around.
I'll see you again soon. In the meantime, take good care of YOU.
many many thanks for
many many thanks for letter.will write soon.