Green Improvement ...

I am feeling green around the gills... A 700mg dose of Carbamazepine (Tegretol) is doing its anti-suicidal work very well. The zone between my ears is wonderfully clear. If anything it is a little on the empty side but I can live with that.

Unfortunately it is working rather too well in two other areas:

  • All I can do is sleep. Even watching TV is too much. Regrettably, my sleep compulsion happens only during the day. Even though I feel permanently exhausted, I have great difficulty sleeping at night which of course leaves me tired during the day. I have tried forcing myself to stay awake during the day but it makes no difference: 10pm comes around and my brain wakes up until about 4am or even 6 am. Anyway, I am used to this so it is not so bad.
  • My digestive system is rebelling against the higher dose of medication. I have a disgusting very bitter taste in my mouth, I feel bilious, and permanently thirsty, and my stomach is painful and swollen. All signs of liver strain.  (Carbamazepine is known for being tough on the liver which is why I have to have a regular blood test to check how things are in that department).  I do feel physically very unwell.

I do have a few tricks up my sleeve to help me feel better:

  1. Andrews Liver Salts. This is an old-fashioned UK brand that can be bought without a prescription and it really helps me feel less 'muddy'. I take a spoonful in water morning and evening. It doesn't cost much and it doesn't appear to have any undesirable side-effects. I know it from my years of migraine when I felt like I was having the morning after without ever having had the night before!
  2. Acupuncture. I am very fortunate because I was treated for a long time at the local psychiatric hospital by a wonderful lady named Jill who was an outstanding acupuncturist. I say 'was' because she is officially retired. I called her last week to see if she still treated people privately and although she doesn't she came running on a Sunday AND on her birthday to treat me at home. How lucky was that! She took one look at my tongue and said "oh my, you ARE very poorly aren't you". Of course she was right. She 'said hello' (that's the way she puts it`)  to my liver, gall bladder and colon. She also upped my energy a little but not too much or else I might veer into agitation. When she worked at the local psychiatric hospital she was so good at treating people that by the time she left half her patients were from the medical staff! And of course the wonderful thing about acupuncture is that there are NO SIDE EFFECTS. Everybody should have a Jill in their back pocket. Since Jill's visit I haven't had to drink half a bottle of anti-acid every hour to bear the burning pain in my stomach (obviously caused by bile moving upwards instead of downwards in my system).
  3. Water - lots of it. One, because I am very thirsty - and two, because it helps flush my liver out.

Now I am left with this quandary: do I keep taking 700mg Carbamazepine (Tegretol) or do I reduce the dose down to 600mg to give my liver a break and risk stepping back towards suicidal obssession?

I suppose I could put it this way:

How to kill myself: all in one go, or one organ at a time?!!  :D

Hey precious one! You gave

Hey precious one!


You gave me the courage to go through ECT. It didn't do wonders, but at least it  got me from being suicidal.

As a mother of four it's huge. After a year of severe depression I finally got better by christmas 2011, didn't really think I'd survive for thet long.


I wish you the best. You are so important to many of us out there, hang in there girlfriend.


Lot's of love


Thank you Alexandra

I am so pleased to hear that you are feeling better. ECT is a desperate measure but we are desperate people! :D

Thank you also for your encouragement - it means so much to me.

Very best wishes

Gabrielle x


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