Gabrielle's blog

Following in the tradition of this blog, my fellow Bi-Polar Lander Taunta Beanie Taylor has written this lovely message for Valentine Day.  She has addressed it to me but I think it also needs to be addressed to herself because we are all our own sweetest friend - and if we're not, we should be.

I love some of her language - in particular the 'bullheaded rising from her toes'!

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If ONE more person tells me that I should feel better soon because the sun is shining I WILL scream! Yet, when I stop to think about it, it's no wonder we hear this so often.  It's also no wonder we hear so many different pieces of advice which seem to contradict each other and/or rub us the wrong way.  This is my attempt at bringing a bit of clarity into the general confusion..

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Following my interview on News Talk Radio last Monday 7th February (if you wish to listen click on 3 and my interview starts after 4 minutes), it occurred to me that I have been forming an important part of my 'recovery philosophy' these past few months. I call it The Three 'Hs'.

My first H is Humility.

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Following the article that was published in The Daily Mail Good Health section and in which I was interviewed, I have of course been asked a lot of questions about ECT.

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An interesting thing happened today: I started the day really badly. What do I mean by that? Let me explain ...

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Last week I was worrying about my daughter-in-law's forthcoming visit because she is five months pregnant and I wanted to find a sleeping arrangement that would suit her best. I went through all the possible combinations in my mind many times over.

When I spoke to her about it over the phone, she listened to my ramblings and then she said something unusual:  "Mum", she said, "I think you are over thinking it".

She could have said many things:

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I have not had an easy ride the last few weeks.  I felt fine for three months previously so it is hard when I 'lose' my sense of well-being.  It always feels like I am sliding backwards - and THAT is terrifying.

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Today is the last day of 2010.  As I am about to step into 2011, do I have anything to celebrate?  My immediate reaction is to answer 'NO' because I had two relapses in the last twelve months.  it doesn't feel therefore like I have made any progress.  I am still firmly stuck in Bi-Polar Land and I don't see myself emigrating any time soon.

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Gabrielle ponders life's big questions

I love my Bi-Polanders' comments on my Facebook Page - not just because they are a wonderfully supportive and experienced bunch but also because they challenge my assumptions and stimulate my thinking.  For that alone I will always be very grateful to them all.

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