Laughter

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As I was speaking to a mental health WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Group last week, I asked this cheeky question: what if we - the mentally ill - were in fact the only sane people on this psycho planet? Everybody laughed and yet I could tell that my little joke may have been more than a pathetic humourous attempt on my part. 

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My brain has ben functioning well these past two days and I love it. It feels wonderful to be able to plan and executive simple tasks.

I am not talking about anything particularly fantastic - just every day 'things' such as:

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Here's an interesting thing: I am going through a depressive episode and yet I am not feeling down about it. How could that be?

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I have been living under my own weather system these past few weeks. The weather outside is pretty irrelevant. If anything, I prefer 'bad' weather because it is easier for me to feel ghastly when there is little else I could do but stay indoors. I find warm sunny days really hard to handle when my internal weather is on the dark rainy side.  This is counter-intuitive:  most people expect me to feel better when the sun is shining.

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I love fish. I love to look at fishes and - poor old things - I love to eat them too. I should have been a fisherman (or fisherwoman). I am the idiot who stares at the fish counter moved to tears by the beauty of a mackerel's stripes or a trout's rainbow scales. I get funny looks from the fishmonger on many occasions because of it.

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As I was ploughing my way through a huge pile of ironing, a thought suddenly struck me in the form of this question: what is the difference between a strong spirit and a strong will? (My musing was obviously prompted by what I wrote yesterday about Jade Goody.) 

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I am not very energetic today. It's a lovely day and I have managed to get washed, dressed, coifed and made-up in time for a working pub lunch with my Techno Hubby but that's about it. I am struggling to keep my eyes open and it is not even 6.00pm yet! 

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Here I am sitting at my computer, wrestling with the idea that I should have a shower and I should get dressed. As they say in the coaching world, all this shoulding all over myself isn't helping one bit.

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