Self Awareness

warning: Creating default object from empty value in /mnt/lvm2/bi-polargirl.com/httpdocs/modules/taxonomy/taxonomy.pages.inc on line 33.

Gabrielle ponders life's big questions

I love my Bi-Polanders' comments on my Facebook Page - not just because they are a wonderfully supportive and experienced bunch but also because they challenge my assumptions and stimulate my thinking.  For that alone I will always be very grateful to them all.

>>> read more

I re-read the chapter entitled 'Communication' in my e-book 'Conversations with Batty (my bi-polar disorder) - how talking to myself kept me sane'.  I thought you might like to read it too. As always Batty speaks in italics and those conversations were written as they came to me, without any censure or post-editing:

>>> read more

What is the matter with me? I mean, apart from my usual mild madness ...  The minute I know I have something to do at a particular time I feel stressed.  It doesn't matter that it is something ridiculously easy, I still feel stressed.

>>> read more

People who know me (doctors and friends alike) and deal with or are affected by deep depression and/or Bi-Polar Disorder often pay me a huge compliment.  They say that I manage my condition in a highly intelligent way. I always respond with humble appreciation and yet I know they are wrong.

The truth is: I don't manage my illness/condition.  I let it manage me.

>>> read more

Today I feel 'normal'.  In other words I don't feel there is anything wrong with me.  My brain and my body are functioning as I would expect them to.  This feeling is intoxicating.

It is even dangerous because these are the days when I am tempted to get off my medication even if I know only too well that I am feeling the way I am BECAUSE I take the meds.

>>> read more

My Bi-Polar Disorder LOVES to play tricks on me!  Just when I think I am doing really well, WHACK: my body stops functioning and my brain follows suit. The most annoying aspect of this recurring situation is that it happens even when I am 'medically stable' - i.e. on a cocktail of *drugs that are working well for me.

>>> read more

A horrible thought came to me in a flash while I was in between sleep and awakeness one morning: what if I was attached to my bipolar disorder [BPD]? The horrible part of it was not so much the physical attachment (i.e. the fact that my biology is such that BPD is a life-lomg condition for me) but rather the psychological side of it (i.e. the fact that I might in some way be clinging to my BPD). I wish it had but that thought would NOT go away...

>>> read more

Like all people who live in Bi-Polar Land (i.e. all of us who have Bipolar Disorder Type 1 or Type 2), sleep is very important to maintaing our stability. Because of this I read with interest anything I come across that 'sleep specialists' write about getting a good night sleep. I wish I didn't....

>>> read more

After a second relapse and a stint of home hospitalisation, I am finally feeling better. It appears the new drugs regime is working. What I mean by 'working' is that it is giving me sufficient biological/physiological stability for me to access the sum total of my resources and experience. To me that's what drugs are for: they give me back ME.

>>> read more
Syndicate content